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Poland. A country to which we are chained and to which we are bound to return. This irrational will to be in Poland is our mental defect. It’s a defect, because Poland is not sunny Sydney, nor paradise-like New Zealand. But we still want to live here. Why? We do not quite know.

Of course, we knew before, that our re-start in Poland would not be easy. We prepared ourselves for many battles, even wars, with councils, agents, reality, ladies in stores and drivers on the streets. We polished our armours, sharpened our swords, put happy smiles on our faces, coloured our image of Poland and in that, aromour-on condition we entered our country… Despite the biggest efforts Witka’s body said ‘no’ only 2 hours after landing in Poland. She shivered, got high temperature and had to stay in bed for couple of days. Welcome home. Risky was tougher. His armour has missplaced a bit on first holes on national Polish road, but he stayed ready for the battle till the second week. Then his body said ‘no’ as well. Our bodies don’t like our country. No wonder – we have been in Poland for 2 weeks and we haven’t seen the sun for 2 weeks. It didn’t come out not even for a minute. For the last 2 weeks we also have to face a lot of snow, dirty streets, grey reality and temperatures below zero. We don’t blame the sun for not wanting to see all that.

In the meantime (between the illnesses) we managed to pay three visits to various councils, call them 5 times and  swear hard on them. For at least 3 times. Ten times we had to correct our armours. In addition to that we bought a car. It is not as easy process as in the UK. And used cars are way more expensive in Poland. That’s why we we count it as a big success. It’s our first car with a clock instead of engine tachometer. A very cheap car in an almost acceptable condition. The car allows us to travel between A and B and that’s what’s most important. We will not complain on our car as we are very happy to have it. Although its age qualifies it for high school, it seems to be a little baby. We have to teach it everything. But the car learns very quickly and understands more often that turning the key is a signal to start the engine. We are very proud of it.

We had a chance to explore Polish roads and ‘highways’. Nowhere in the world have we met holes that big and that deep. We think that Australian outback roads are better maintained that Polish national roads. And bolivians asphalt-less roads could be easily qualified as a Polish express road. We think that Polish people should drive 4×4s, not Australians. In addition to that, only 30 percent of Polish roads are ploughed correctly. Snow is EVERYWHERE. Sometimes, when you are in the countryside, you are not sure where the road finishes and the fields start. You can only assume it by the trails of cars that were there before you. Our armours went loose on these roads and our car doesn’t like the holes – it switches the windscreen wipers on by itself. One of the top radio stations organized a competition - ‘The biggest hole in Polish roads’.

We have also noticed couple of irritating things we cannot understand. For example: the issue of foreign languages. When you are looking for a simple job in Poland one of the condition to get it is to know a foreign language. Why then, the most important person in Poland – the President – cannot speak a word in any foreign language? It is the president, not the bartender, who represents Poland outside the country. He has to communicate with foreign presidents and politicians. And we doubt that they speak Polish. Why there is no requirement/conditions to get that job? Why all the bartenders and waitresses in Poland speak other languages and the most important person in the country cannot put together one sentence in English. We cannot understand that.

A big addition to our crisis was a great dilema – ‘a drop of lime’ or  ‘vanilla smell’? … Yes, when you look through the windows all you can see is greyness. But the world of wall paints is like a rainbow of words. We think they hire poets to name each and every colour. So you can paint your walls yellow and then realise that it is in fact ‘treasure of Incas’. We got a big headache trying to decide between American Dream, Acapulco Turquoise, Autumn Moor and Juicy Papaya. Then we came across English Harmony, we looked at ourselves with a tear in the eye and we chose white. Sorry, Arctic White.

In the meantime – Big Blue of New Zealand’s fiords: